Inside Out – Outside In
Why is that single launderette chair in the middle of the road?
And the writing inside all wrong — it’s all back-to-front!
The people who wrote those words and printed them
Can’t write or spell a thing, no they just can’t!
Those three storey buildings where people live and work
Look so small behind the seriffed lettered window
The wall mounted lampshade is just as large as one floor
Everything looks different from what I used to know
These houses fit nicely in the centre of that door mat
The numbers above one window are just like a four berth tent
And reads one penny short of twenty-five pounds
With an annual percentage rate of zero percent
People in this land are shockingly backward
Almost every single letter reads from right to left
They hang enormous clothes on motorbikes and cars
And hop on indoor buses that are not frequent
On every street junction in the middle of the road
They play darts, drink tea and eat currant buns
While sitting on chintz covered chairs at Bauhaus tables
And wave at whizzing juggernauts just for fun
The people here prefer to drive their cars inside
Even the road signs are inside on all but the ground floors
As for the trees well, they just copy the cars and the road signs
And grow quite healthily in the spacious sunny indoors
Then a car made of natural shimmering streaky speed blur
Drives straight through a glass partition and parks under a plant
What’s so amazing about this is that the glass doesn’t even break
Then flips over and points at the sky at an 80 degree slant
Look, there are more gigantic second-hand woolly jumpers
They seem to prefer gathering in sunny alfresco scenes
Just hanging there on their hangers in the middle of the street
And the cars won’t pass until they change from red to green
I really must replace these glasses with the polarised variety
Seeing everything as half-reversed and translucent is quite bizarre
When I take them off this land is more ludicrously bewildering
Then again, I’ll keep them on and apply dollops of sauce tartare
At last I’ve come to a civilised and sensible office space
Although it’s situated right in the middle of the street
I can see desks, office chairs, a photocopier, office forms
And charging elephants, wild horses, a cockatoo and a parakeet!
In one Union Jacked chippy was a spotless silver serving counter
Behind it stood a very short man in two-dimensional profile
His head was the size of an over inflated beach ball
His hair was of reversed letters, but he had a lovely smile
And even more extraordinary: a reflection reflecting itself
Now everything keeps reversing and turn turning about
Spiegel Im Spiegel melodies go round inside my head
On and on and on it goes, outside in, inside out
Can this land get any curiouser and curiouser, Alice?
Rabbit holes certainly look different from the top
I’ll examine reflections from a different perspective
By looking through them from the inside of shops
Coffee shops are decidedly best for this activity
I’ll take a pew and choose espresso — no sugar
And a large slice of crème crowned caffè latte cake
Then soon I’ll emerge from my diurnal slumber
